At the beginning of 2014 I began the journey of mapping my core desires and aligning those basic, soul-affirming needs with my daily life. I wrote down words and feelings on sticky notes, stuck them about my office and car, and let them simmer for days as I sat with each of them. Ultimately I whittled them down to five words that I wished to shape my life around in the coming year. At the time, I had come to a place in life that I found myself making some destructive decisions. I also found myself asking and answering some tough questions. Questions I told myself I should have asked and answered long before. Ones that surely would have helped circumvent the turmoil that introduced me to 2014.
Fast-forward a few months to present day and I still have the questions. I still have the doubt. I still have the uncertainty. Sometimes. But I also have some powerfully soulful new habits that affirm the validity of the life I strive to lead and the deservedness of realizing those desires. I find that I am making more choices for myself. Taking more time for the things I need to see, do and be. I am not sure that life will ever truly be in balance. Equally not sure that it is even meant to be.
Think about that!
Finding the elusive balance for which everyone seeks might just lead to complacency. The questions themselves… looking inward for areas of improvement, reflecting and looking outward for sure signs of growth… these are all part of the journey that lead us toward the lives we were meant to fulfill. Much like 19 C. poet Ranier Maria Rilke bespoke, I am learning one day at a time to “love the questions themselves” and hopefully find patience and peace enough to then “live my way into the answers.” For truly, without the questions themselves, I am fearful that I will cease to grow, learn, expand and evolve.
During this weekend of reflection I decided to narrow my core feelings down to four instead of the five I initially began 2014. I haven’t given up on this fifth feeling. Just decided that four was more manageable and that if I were truly living by the four… the fifth would happen as a result.
How do you wish to feel in your daily life? How do you want to awake each morning and turn in every night? How about the hours in between? A little shift in perspective can bridge the gap between soul-sucking inadequacy or life-affirming abundance. We cannot change yesterday, but it’s never too late to change today!
Love & Light